Dirty Dog

QUESTION:

How can you tell if my man is cheating on me?

ANSWER:

Well, I would love to remedy your suspicion of your partner’s monogamy with a few healing words but the truth is that all ladies of substance have come across this question at least once in their life with little recourse. The question may come about by varying degrees of a woman’s wariness of her mans behavior and actions. The scale may fluctuate from the evident traces of perfume or the old standard of lipstick traces to the not so evident extended computer log on time or lingering late night work hours.

But I have decided to bestow the worldly ladies of Guts. Glam. Grace. with this (one-time) countdown of sure-fire indications that your beloved man is a charlatan in sheep’s clothing.

1. He’s extra sweet: suddenly goes above and beyond for you to accomodate for his hidden relatioship indiscretions.

2. He’s extra distant: One day you wake up and you can’t do nothing right. Cuddling is a fantasy, dinner is always cold, beer is always warm and you would think the TV wears the lingerie.

3. He gets or got nervous around certain crowds: So he’s was talking all fall and winter about his work’s Christmas party and all of the sudden he’s ushering you out of the party a half hour after you got there because he’s not feeling good, (suspect).

4. He accuses YOU of cheating.

5. He develops secrets and loses communication: Since when did he have to walk to the other room to talk on the phone, goes to Walmart for two hours and comes back with just deodorant and a CD (mighty suspect). And on top of that, he talks to his dog with more verve than you.

*By the way, the more distinguished cheating man always puts the other woman’s phone number as the work number of one of his boys, (you can have that one for free ladies).

My mother gave a simple yet effective portion of advice to me about cheating; she said that “If you cheat, it will either be too good, or not good enough.” And I use that opinion/warning as my mantra about not even getting to deep in the muddy waters of temptation. Good luck ladies!

If you would like to Ask the Bro some questions, email: heyboy@gutsglamgrace.com