Giving Yourself a Break: How to Stop Feeling Insufficient

QUESTION:

My boyfriend is a very good multi-tasker. I am not. How can I show him that I can’t handle too many things without appearing weak?

ANSWER:

That’s a good question, and it’s surprising that your conundrum actually goes against the norm. Women have been proven to be the most natural multi-taskers, while men usually concentrate on one distinct task at a time. I’m sure we have all seen more women, especially at work, juggle a phone call while writing an e-mail while nodding their head in approval of their co-worker’s proposal.

But the issue here is that you are trying to compare a trait or a talent with his individual dexterity. In all actuality, maybe you are a weak multi-tasker, but that doesn’t by any means translate into a weak person or a weak worker. Everyone possesses some distinct attribute that sets them apart in life. I’m sure that if you spent more time concentrating on your natural abilities and less on your shortcomings, then you will feel more comfortable about undertaking tasks in the company of your partner.

My hope is that he is not disapproving of your inability to handle various tasks at the same time with ease. If he is standing on the side with his arms crossed and shaking his head in shame because the Jiffy cornbread wasn’t ready when the meal was ready, then you need to talk to him about his delusions of multi-tasking grandeur. On the other hand, if your man doesn’t really care about these small issues and your perceived deficiencies are all in your own head, then you may need to lighten up and give yourself a break.

If you can’t effectively multi-task, then give up the shotgun approach and train yourself to be a marksman with the rifle approach. This way, you can tackle a situation so that it’s done and taken care of with perfection.

Until next time, the ball’s in your court, ladies.