Mutual Cheating: Is That Okay?

QUESTION:

My boyfriend cheated on me. Is it okay if I cheat on him?

ANSWER:

The problem with the eye-for-an-eye approach is that it leaves everyone in the relationship blind. If your boyfriend cheated on you and broke pretty much the only cardinal rule in most relationships, you should first ask yourself if you want to stay with him after he betrayed you. Once you answer that question and if you choose to stay with him, then you need to ask yourself another pivotal question and that is, do you forgive him?

If, in fact, you do forgive him, then not only are you a strong and empathetic woman, but you also find power in his redemption and pardon his charlatan shortcomings. This composed level of thinking on a higher plane should absolve you from the pettiness of wanting to exact revenge on the inferior level of childish infidelity. Just like someone who drinks heavily because they have a slew of problems finds that on the morning after, they still have the same damn problems they had before they got drunk, you must find a resolution without compromising what’s right. If you forgive him, then do just that. If you don’t forgive your boyfriend, then end what’s already been destroyed by him without the lingering bickering, distrust, and resentment of him being in your constant presence.

It is hard when your loved one cheats. Most people who open themselves up and offer their unguarded heart to others can get it broken through no fault of their own. But in the long run, the best divorces happen before the marriage. In other words, you should be glad that he showed his ass before any substantial vows or children entered the picture.

If the girl that borrowed your CDs didn’t return them and now avoids you every time you see her, just know that you blocked her petty self out of your life for the trivial cost of a few discs. The same can apply to your shattered relationship. Remember that people cheat because they don’t know the answers to the test. I have a feeling that you do know not only how to remedy life’s tough questions, but that you also have the insight to solve its problems while maintaining your status as the head of the class.

Until next time, the ball’s in your court, ladies.