My Boyfriend Won’t Stop Complaining About His Job!

Everyday my boyfriend calls me complaining about his job. How do I make him happy?

First of all you can’t necessarily make him happy, and it’s not really your job to. I say this because happiness is a choice we make as individuals; we choose to be happy or unhappy, period, and as much as we think others influence this decision, they do not. Because we always look for things to make us feel something good- money, etc. – we do not often realise that emotions come from within us, first and foremost, and we are in full control of them.

If your boyfriend is unhappy at work, you, first of all, need to know what is making him so unhappy that he feels the need to complain about it every day. Yes, complaining is a symptom of unrest, but also bear in mind that people who complain are not always looking for a solution. They get something from complaining. This could be sympathy from you, understanding from others, a friendly ear…the list is endless. If you buy into someone’s complaints they will often complain for a whole lot longer than necessary.

So what can you do?

Offer a friendly ear, suggest solutions, and see what happens. If your great advice is ignored and the complaints continue, then the real problem is probably not his job, and when you think about it, this makes sense because a job is an inanimate object (kind of like complaining about a football or a biscuit!). What he is possibly unhappy about is what you need to know, and this could be reflective of his position in life. For some people, jobs illustrate where they are in life. Not earning enough or not being in the right position could lead to complaining. The main point is that he may be unhappy about himself.

When it comes to making him happy, in short, you can’t. What is more important is to get to the source of his complaints and here you will need to think outside the in order to really see what his real issues are.

It sounds like he has a sounding board in you but do not take on his issues- they are not yours. Yes, you may feel for him but when these phone calls start to take over your day, it is time for them to stop. He is a big man who may just need to take control of his life so that when he calls, he is talking about happy things instead.

Good luck.