How Can I Tell My Girlfriend I Don’t Trust Her With My Child?

Question: How can I tell my girlfriend that I don’t trust her with my child? She has nieces and nephews, but I think she is too rough with my child.

Answer:

Our children are our treasures. Let no one interfere with your child’s wellness.

It is not about how you are going to tell your girlfriend; it is about when you are going to tell your girlfriend. Don’t delay. Please speak to your girlfriend, face-to-face, immediately.

With all due respect, I say this: it does not matter that your girlfriend has nieces and nephews. The focus is on your child.

I suggest that you sit down and speak with your child before you speak to your girlfriend. Ask your child how s/he feels about your girlfriend and being left in her care. Does your child feel safe and comfortable with your friend? If not, then it is time for you to talk to your friend.

When you finally sit down and speak to your girlfriend, speak from the “I” voice. Don’t make accusations. Don’t judge your girlfriend. Extend a steady and compassionate tone during your conversation. Tell your friend why you don’t trust her with your child. Let her know what behavior and language you have observed that you consider rough. As a parent, you must be able to communicate with clarity, swiftness, and resolve to your girlfriend about what is acceptable and not acceptable when she is with your child.

Remember that your definition of rough and your friend’s definition of rough may be different, but the two of you must walk away from the conversation with the same understanding about how your child should be cared for.

After you speak with your child and your friend, you may want to make some serious decisions about your level of involvement with your friend.

Continue to be an advocate for your child, for yourself, and for your family.

Trust your gut. Sustain the glam. Maintain the grace.