It’s Over Now

11 November, 2010

QUESTION: I have been separated for 2 years and my divorce will soon be final. The split was amicable and I would like us to be friends but my ex husband treats me like we are still married and thinks he has a right to know what I am up to, especially since we have a young child together. How can I make him stop?

HIS ANSWER: Right now you are standing on the cliff top afraid to jump off. You want to take the next step but are afraid to do so because you don’t know what it will look like.

Is this divorce something that you really want? Is there no way the problems can be sorted out? Sometimes things just get out of hand and (more…)

Trying not to push religion on him…

01 November, 2010

Question: When it comes to grieving, I turn to religion for guidance and comfort, but my fiancé isn’t religious. How do I help him through a difficult time without pushing my religious views on him?

Answer:

It seems to me that being religious gives you the perfect opportunity to be there for your loved one, but not necessarily in the way you think. Grieving can be a personal experience until the person feels strong enough to share and so firstly respect whichever way he chooses to initially grieve. Some people find religion at these times and some people do not. If he does, then you have the perfect in, if not then slowly introduce aspects into the equation that you think (more…)

Me and Mr. White

11 October, 2010

QUESTION:  I am an African American Woman and I am dating a white man and everywhere we go we get looked at negatively and it makes him insecure and not want to go out anymore, what can I do to help him out to not strain our relationship.

ANSWER:  Is the real problem that he is uncomfortable dating a woman of colour, or that he simply doesn’t like attention when he is out? The fact that you are dating in the first place must suggest that he already has knowledge of the potential pitfalls, so maybe the problem lies elsewhere. Further probing is necessary. Where are you going out; what is it exactly that bothers him about the looks; do you get looks from both blacks and whites? (more…)