With the winter and holiday season looming ahead, it’s easy to forget to appreciate the things we have, especially when it comes to our love lives. For single ladies, that could be putting undue pressure on themselves to find a man, taking the focus off of their “status” or being afraid to step back into the dating game.

So, how does a single or paired-up lady remember to take care of herself this season? To get to the heart of it, I spoke with Dr. Paulette Murphy, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with experience in individual, couples and group therapy. Dr. Murphy, who leads workshops in New York City called “Single and Dating in the City,” recently shared some good insights to keep in mind this season and year-round for the single lady:

Q: We often forget to be thankful during the year, which is what the holidays help remind us to do. What would you say to the woman that’s down about being single?

A: I think some of why some single women are down in general is because they don’t know how to enjoy being single.  Being single is a great time in your life; take the time to enjoy it.  If you are only focused on getting a man, then you will be down if you don’t have one.  A man should accent your life, not be your life.  Doing what you want when you want and not having to worry about anyone else is a luxury.  So decorate your apartment like you like or eat salad all week to save to buy those expensive boots you have been eyeing. Single women should be thankful they have their freedom, can spend time focusing on themselves, and that finding love is a process.  So enjoy all the kissing, laughing and dancing ahead!

Q: What pressures do women put on themselves to meet the one?

A:  A list of some of the pressures includes:

1. I can’t be happy without a man
2. I am a failure because I don’t have a man
3. My Mom was married by 30
4. All my friends have a man
5. I am the last one to get married
6. My birthday is coming and I don’t have a man
7. The holidays are coming and I am alone

There is nothing wrong with being focused on dating and finding a mate.  The problem is when women are not well rounded and not trying to work on other areas of their lives too!  

I think men can smell desperation a mile away and this ends up being a barrier to finding someone to love.  Asking too many questions on a first date about a man’s views on marriage, why they are single, how many kids they want, can turn a potential suitor off.

The question women should be asking themselves is if they are ready to date physically, financially, professionally and emotionally ready to date. I believe that if you are ready, they will come!

Q: With the holidays coming near, it can be hard for a single lady. What tips do you have to make sure she’s having fun and taking care of herself but not hung up on her “single” status?

A: In preparation for the Holidays, single women should engage in what I call positive planning.  They should think about and plan activities with friends and family in advance.  Invite family into town, especially young kids!  Nothing beats getting unlimited kisses and hugs from your cousins, nephews and nieces who think you are great!!!  Ladies should also start getting their look together (weight, hair, outfits), so they can look and feel as confident as they can during the Holiday Season.  Remember, holiday parties can be a great place to meet Mr. Right!

Q: For the woman that may be hesitant to “get in the game” — what do you say?

A: I would say, you have to be in it to win it.  Acknowledge that it is scary, but take baby steps to prepare themselves mentally to take that step.  I would also add, have fun!  Men are like buses; there is always another one in a few minutes.  So don’t worry if you feel you made a mistake, or missed an opportunity. Dating is a learning experience, and your mission is to discover what you like and dislike in a man.  My Workshop, Single and Dating in the City was created for women who want a fun supportive way to start understanding the dating game and to come up with a strategy.  The Workshop helps women find other women who are like-minded supportive and understanding.

For more about Dr. Murphy and her sessions in the city, visit singleanddatinginthecity.com!

No related posts.

Just about every month we are celebrating something.  October was Disability Awareness Month.  The first week in October was Mental Illness Awareness Week. 

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) they are “the organization behind this week.  It was founded as a nonprofit, grassroots, self-help, and support and advocacy organization of consumers, families, and friends of people with severe mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, major depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and anxiety disorders”.

NAMI continues to explain that “in 1990, the U. S. Congress established the first week of October as Mental Illness Week in recognition of NAMI’s efforts to raise mental illness awareness.  In 1990, mental health advocates across the country have joined together during the first full week of October to celebrate”.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) continues to fight to reduce the disgrace of persons living with mental disorders. The attempt is to eradicate the belief that these are acquired behaviors that should be changed by the person. The challenge is accepting that severe mental illnesses are biological in nature and genetic factors have been indirectly associated with some disorders.  Other severe mental illnesses can be due to family and environmental factors.  Severe disorders of the brain should be treated like any other illness of the body; with consultation therapy and appropriate prescribed medication by a physician.

Some effective treatments for mental illnesses are medication, shock therapy, or brain surgery.  Some disorders such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are treated primarily with medication.  Psychotherapy is also used as a treatment.  Depression is often treated with medication, but psychotherapy can be used with some patients.

It helps to be aware of mental illnesses around this time of the year because so many students, both secondary and college level, are under a tremendous amount of stress due to their desire to perform well and cope with more demands of life.  Many mental illnesses seem to manifest during young adulthood.  In October, students are settling into a routine for school and sorting out life’s priorities.  Some students may experience more anxiety than others and it’s helpful to know what some students maybe feeling while trying to cope with life’s responsibilities.  An awareness of mental illnesses during this time of year helps to identify new and different behaviors some people maybe exhibiting.

To learn more about mental illness awareness, consult your medical doctors.   

No related posts.

QUESTION: How do I go about getting a gay bff? Is it wrong of me to want one?

HER ANSWER:

It is not wrong to want a gay bff.

Let friendship happen.

Take heed to the lyrics of an old R&B song, “Don’t push it. Don’t force it. Let it happen naturally.”

Friendship is letting someone tell you the truth even when it hurts.  Friendship is about finding that buddy you can laugh and cry with. Friendship is the comrade you go on a road trip with and you are still speaking when you return home.

Remember, Charlotte and her gay bff, Anthony on the HBO smash hit series, Sex and the City? What was so endearing about Charlotte and Anthony is that they had (on the surface) nothing in common, but they opened up and let their relationship evolve slowly.  Anthony encouraged Charlotte to upgrade her wardrobe and redecorate her apartment.  But, more importantly, they tended to each other after love affairs gone wrong. They doled out useful career and personal advice to each other. As their relationship moved forward, they were not afraid to reveal their true emotions to one another and share their joy and pain.  It was no longer about a straight woman “getting” a gay bff.  It was about two friends going through the ups and downs of life…together.

Let me be bold. Don’t think man, woman, gay, straight, bi, transsexual, questioning or lesbian when seeking and maintaining friendship, think HUMAN BEING.

The Golden Rule that my grandmother shared with me so many years ago still applies, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Don’t try to label or define the characteristics of the friendships you want. Be yourself and you will attract the friendship your heart truly deserves.

You never know, your next incredible and fulfilling friendship may be coming your way when you least expect it. 

No related posts.

As the sun starts to disappear around this time of year, we notice that the shades of our nail polish follow suit. The sunshine yellows and pops of bright pink are traded in for much murkier colors, but there are plenty of shades throughout this year’s collections from our favorite brands that are in no way dimmed down.

OPI

OPI’s Swiss Collection contains an array of shades of muted blues, reds and pink with the few frosty additions of Glitzerland and Lucerne-tainly Look Marvelous to buck the all-neutral trend that many other brands are distributing this season. These colors are perfect to blend in with every piece of your fall wardrobe, and with the frosty polishes especially, already thinking of a white Christmas (since it’s right around the corner).

Essie

Essie’s autumn offerings are making us think about our next trip to Starbucks. Little Brown Dress and Merino Cool remind us of how different people take their coffee while the rest of the polishes look like vibrant colors that have been mixed with a touch of gray which is perfect for those extra chilly dark days when the best place to hide in the warmth is a local coffee shop.

No related posts.

Meet Tammie Reed.  She has rubbed elbows with some of Hollywood’s finest: Usher, Pam Anderson, Sean Puffy Combs and more!  She has been featured in dozens of magazines and interviewed multiple times.  All this and she still has time for her own talk show, “Talking with Tami.”

Keep reading to learn more about this go-getter!

Guts.Glam.Grace. Magazine: Are you living your dreams?

Tammie Reed: I am absolutely living my dreams! I always loved working around people because I have a special place in my heart for them. Yes I think I am!

GGG: Are your career goals in line with your personal goals?

TR: All my goals are not in line. I want to do so many things but I guess it takes time. I am a dreamer. I have so many things written down, I just have to place all my ducks in a row, lol.

GGG: Tell us about your company.

TR: Well my brand is Talking with Tami. It’s my baby, I love it! I am a social media princess and I work with over 500 brands! I interview celebs, review products, run my blog, travel write, hosts events and I absolutely love it.  Simply pinktastic!

GGG: Has there been an event/person that has greatly influenced you to be the person you are today?

TR: So many people have influenced me, but one that sticks out the most is Paula Deen.  She started her career later in life.  I was a stay at home mom for many years.  I sacrificed so much for my 2 kids and now that they are older, I can do what I always wanted. My family always comes first.  Now I can spread my wings.

GGG: Three years ago, did you envision yourself being where you are today? If not what’s different? What would you change?

TR: Three years ago, I was doing this exact same thing. I’ve always envisioned myself doing something fun and helping others. Only difference from 3 years ago, I was in a studio producing my talk show. Now everything Talking With Tami has moved online. I had just launched my blog 3 years ago too. I’m always revamping myself lol.

GGG: How do you empower yourself? What keeps you motivated and staying on course to reach your goals?

TR: My immediate family keeps me motivated. Looking at my kids makes me a strong lady with great will power! My hubby is my biggest cheerleader and he tells me everyday I can do it! I get knocked down but I keep getting back up! You have to have tough skin in this business and if you can’t take a couple of jabs and a lot of no’s you may want to find another career path! It’s a crazy business and I have learned that over the years! I will never stop reaching my goals of one day letting the world know who I am.

GGG: What types of obstacles did you have to overcome?

TR: I have had many obstacles. People will promise you they can help you but really have other intensions or self gain, fake people, slackers and I can go on. I pray for them, wish them well and keep it moving!

GGG: What have you learned about yourself through this journey?

TR: I have learned that I have a HUGE giving heart. It gets broken sometimes, but darn it, It’s stronger than I had ever imagined!

GGG: Who/what keeps you grounded?

TR: Oh Lawd, my hubby keeps me grounded lol. I can come home and say hey I interviewed Martha Stewart today and he will look at me and say with a blank stare, “Oh really? Ok, whats for dinner, I’m starved!” Lmao!

GGG: Has your personal life changed as a result of your career achievements?

TR: Yes, my personal life has changed quite a bit, especially from other family members. They can’t relate.  They don’t know what to say or do with me.  I have rubbed elbows with some of the most influential people that you could ever imagine.  They think that I have gotten the big head but if you were to meet me, I have not changed I just have been blessed…ha!

GGG:  How do you embody guts, glamour and grace?

TR:

Guts: Moving to Atlanta, a foreign place to me, my husband and kids. Getting out there, grinding and not looking back.

Glam: I have had a lot of help from my glam squad. Celeb Photographers Drexina Nelson and Derek Blanks take amazing pics of me. Stephanie Dawn beats my face and I’m mainly styled by Julian Lark.

Grace: In this business keep your head up high, regardless of whats going on behind closed doors, late student loans, bills etc.

GGG: What’s one defining moment in your career?

TR: A defining moment in my career was when I hosted an event with Fantasia and Eva Pigford at the Georgia World Congress Center. It was for Breast Cancer Awareness and I stood there like, wow I am really doing this! Fab!

GGG: Who/what are your favorites (pick 5):

TR:

Charity: Susan G Komen(breast cancer awareness)

Color: Pink, of course!

Designers: Betsey Johnson

Movie: Sweet Charity

TV Show: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

GGG: With your success, do you think money can buy you happiness?

TR: I do not think money can buy you happiness, but it would damn sure help and a girl get a new pair of shoes! tee hee!

GGG: What advice can you give to other people on the rise?

TR: Please don’t listen to people in your ear all the time telling you that you can’t do this or that. Please excuse yourself or move to other side of the room. Get rid of negative people and energy around you fast!

GGG: What’s up next? Projects, trips, next big splurge…

TR: Up coming things hmm?  I will be featured in the December issue of Self Magazine and doing a lot of blogger events, hosting some parties, beauty pageants out of town and enjoying my family. Traveling a bit oversees as well. Keeping fingers crossed that I will go to Paris, France.  God is good!

GGG: Anything else you’d like to share???

TR: I would like to say thank you so much for wanting to interview with lil ol’ me! You guys rock! Keep up the good work! xoxo Visit my site at www.talkingwithtami.com.

No related posts.

QUESTION: I have been separated for 2 years and my divorce will soon be final. The split was amicable and I would like us to be friends but my ex husband treats me like we are still married and thinks he has a right to know what I am up to, especially since we have a young child together. How can I make him stop?

HIS ANSWER: Right now you are standing on the cliff top afraid to jump off. You want to take the next step but are afraid to do so because you don’t know what it will look like.

Is this divorce something that you really want? Is there no way the problems can be sorted out? Sometimes things just get out of hand and a simple disagreement takes on bigger consequences. It is a good time to stop and reassess where you are both at.

It sounds like he may not want this divorce and if so, then a conversation is needed to find out exactly what he does want. He is possibly finding it difficult to treat you as a separate entity and in this situation, people often look for the flimsiest of reasons to justify their behaviour. An innocent conversation about your day becomes the possibility of a reconnect, an innocent request for help around the house, becomes his justification that you must still want him.

Focus on who your husband is and on what you understand about him. He may need a more abrupt sequence of events, ending perhaps in you not talking to him at all, for him to get it. Everyone needs time to get over somebody and just because you may be ready to move on, doesn’t mean that he is.

It is a question of boundaries, and at the moment it sounds like you do not have any. You must establish some boundaries, so that when he asks you what you have been up to, you can politely let him know that that is none of his business. Be careful not to fall into the trap of avoiding conversations that you know will hurt him. Friendships work because the people involved feel free enough around each other to be honest. If there are any topics that you do not feel free enough to discuss with him, then can you really be friends? Or, is it more a case of appeasing him, preventing him getting hurt further so you get to keep him in your life under your terms.

Is it possible that although you say you are ready to divorce, you are not ready to be with what that actually means, i.e. the loss and support of the father of your child; putting yourself back into the dating ‘meat market’.  You may also be worried about him meeting someone else and moving on. Because what would you do then? 

The answer lies just beyond the cliff top, in a place you cannot yet see. Trust in yourself and in your good judgement, and

close your eyes,

take a deep breath,

and…

Good luck

No related posts.

When my kids were in nursery and grade school, it seemed that educating kids about ethnic diversity was almost as important as teaching them how to read. We parents used to joke that our kids knew—and celebrated—almost every single holiday known to mankind. They dressed up in costumes, sang songs and learned the traditions of different cultures around the world, made and ate an endless variety of food and read all kinds of globally inspired stories. Little anthropologists I called them. And they all loved it. I remember in kindergarten, they used to have a holiday party—chrismahanakwaanzakah—with menorahs, latkes, gingerbread houses, African masks and bright-colored streamers, dradels miniature pine trees and more. At home too, my guys would watch shows like Arnold, which featured a variety of ethnically diverse characters, and Dora the Explorer, along with a bunch of shows I have since forgotten about. There was no shortage of international savviness, even for my girls who adored American Girl Dolls and of course just had to have the Native American one.

It wasn’t until they got older though, that the work started to get put on the parents. Our innocent, fair-minded kids who never noticed color or race, were suddenly much more aware of their and their classmates color and racial background. And it wasn’t that they were unkind or even biased, they just started to pick up on what these differences meant.

Most of their non-racist attitude can definitely be attributed to this early exposure—I never consciously chose books, toys, puzzles and games for any of my kids that were designed to educate them about other cultures; I just bought what I thought was interesting and unusual—and durable. Had I lived elsewhere, or they gone to less diversity-driven schools, my job would have been a lot harder. I recently asked a couple of moms about how they’ve gone about teaching their children about other cultures, and what struck me in both conversations, is how naturally these moms fell into this, and how “normal” ethnic and racial awareness was for them and their families.

The Stilley family is teaching their family about different races through simple example, day in, day out. Patrice and David are an interracially married couple (she being African American and White, he is white), with two young daughters Vivian (3) and Eliza (6 months). Patrice’s extended family likes to refer to themselves as the United Colors of Benetton, or the UN, with family members ranging from Asian, to African American to Mexican. Says Patrice, “We speak multiple languages in our home, and have friends from around the globe. This year we are establishing a family tradition of serving at a soup kitchen around Thanksgiving. We believe in teaching our children to learn from our behavior.”

The Stilleys make sure to talk about not just different races, but different cultures and lifestyles. For example, they had apples and honey for Rosh Hosanna this year, and they talk about Kwanzaa, even though it’s Christmas they celebrate. “And,” says Patrice. “We make a conscious effort to purchase dolls (Vivian’s favorite toy) of all colors.”

They’ve yet to have a conversation about why Mommy & Daddy are different colors, or addressing racial or cultural slurs their daughters may hear. Says Patrice, “Frankly, I hope they have as blissful and upbringing as I had. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized why my family elicited second looks or stares. I always thought it was because we had such a beautiful family. And of course, that’s what my mother always told me.”

For Hathaway Norman, who lives in Boston with her husband Charlie and daughter Adele—all Caucasian American—teaching a child about other ethnicities comes from the simple act of exposing children to different cultures.

Says Norman, “I never speak of the differences, I allow her to learn and absorb what she will and answer (to the best of my ability) her questions, when and if they arise.  I am trying to develop the sense that normal means different.”  

And how boring life would be if we were all the same, says Norman, who feels blessed to live in a city, and more specifically a neighborhood, that makes it easy to expose Adele to dozens of cultures.  Cultural appreciation extends to culinary adventures as well.

“We made a deal with our daughter that she doesn’t have to like everything but she has to try everything once, and even spitting it out in a napkin if she doesn’t like it is fine. This has slightly backfired; her favorite food is the sashimi starter at our local Japanese restaurant!”  

Ultimately for the Norman and Stilley families’ diversity is something that is not just celebrated, but insisted upon. Norman’s reasoning is sound, and she nails it on the head when she reminds us that each generation will be living in an increasing global community, so it is up to parents and teachers to instill appropriate cultural acceptance.  

No related posts.

We’ve established before that women can run countries, lead companies, fight in wars and fires, raise families… These are all big things that require responsibility, strength and commitment, especially if you’re doing them solo.

However, if you’re lucky enough to be in a partnership in which you don’t have to carry many of life’s burdens alone, that’s also great. But, that also means you’re talking about two people in a relationship, which creates a whole new set of dynamics, where power in the relationship should ideally be shared. How do you determine which half of a relationship does what? Or, do you and a partner have to take on “specific roles” in order to make a relationship work?

Basically, when we’re considering any potential partner, we look for mates that bring their own “credentials” to the table – or, qualities that would make them real and true long-term material. Of course, many of us include the usually favorable things: smart, funny, compassionate, and so forth. But then there are the other sets of details to consider about what would make someone a valuable contributor to a relationship: good job, stable, financially savvy, family-oriented, focused, can help support a possible family. Suddenly, we’re talking about more than just a checklist, but determining whether a person has what it takes to be a pillar for their mate and to contribute to the larger picture – their relationship.

My favorite uncle is a senior level professional in the travel industry, which means he’s on the road often and works long grueling hours when he isn’t traveling. He’s also a very confident man, pretty stubborn and committed to spending every major holiday with every member of his family – essentially, a real family man. On the other hand his wife and my aunt is a different story: she’s a lot more laid back with a structured nine-to-five job. She also cooks a majority of the meals and makes sure my uncle remembers the kids’ events, and major family payments. And, he consults her intensely when it comes to the disciplining of the kids. And, when things arise that affect their whole family, they consult each other and make a decision together – a formula that has worked for them for nearly two decades.

While this is one example, the larger point here is that they have a partnership that works. And, while it may appear that one side of the relationship is wearing the pants, they each do their part to keep their family together.

Alternatively, if you have a woman that may be the breadwinner while the husband stays at home, does that mean she wears the pants? Well, while she may bring in the income, the husband at home also plays a huge role in making sure they function as a unit: keeping up with the house, raising the children. These aren’t things to be taken lightly, either.

Ultimately, in this day and age, and with gender roles shifting, the idea of “wearing the pants” isn’t quite what we think it is. While it’s clear that eventually, each half of a relationship will likely take on specific roles and responsibilities, the truth is that if any relationship is going to work, both sides need to be willing participants. It’s a partnership and every little action counts – which means both sides need to wear the pants at some point.

No related posts.

NBC Universal announced the top finalists at the grand finale of its fifth-annual “Short Cuts” Film Festival on October 20 at the Directors Guild of America (DGA) Theater in Los Angeles. The event was hosted by Craig Robinson of NBC’s “The Office” and Olivia Munn of NBC’s upcoming series “Perfect Couples.”

Hosts Olivia Munn & Craig Robinson with Julius Onah - Recipient, Best Director, The Bounday

Now in its fifth-consecutive year, NBC Universal’s “Short Cuts” Film Festival has earned its place as the authority on delivering new diverse voices to the film and television industry. The program is championed by Kendra Carter, Director of NBC Universal’s Talent Diversity Initiatives.

“NBC Universal continues to push boundaries as a leading showcase for multi-cultural expression, both in the growth of our submission categories and in the enhanced quality of our awards structure,” said Carter. “Our constant goal is to discover, develop and present cutting-edge work from a diverse perspective to our colleagues within the NBC Universal family and the entertainment industry at large.”

The finalist films were presented in three major categories to include: Best Short Film, Best Actor within a Film, and Best Director. This year’s honorees are director/co-writer Viet Nguyen and co-writer Christopher Dinh for “Crush the Skull”; Randall Park for “Blueberry,” and Julius Onah, writer/director of “The Boundary.”

Ultimately, Onah’s “The Boundary” received the award for Best Director and earned him a finalist position in the NBC Director Fellowship program. For Best Actor, Park’s performance in “Blueberry” allowed him to receive a one-year NBC Universal Talent Holding Deal. Likewise, co-writers Nguyen and Dinh received a blind script deal with NBC Universal. Additional prizes include: meetings with NBCU executives; an NBCU Digital Studio Opportunity; a Panavision camera package donation valued at $60,000; and a creative concept commercial assignment granted by Burrell Communications, a top multi-cultural advertising agency.

“I would like to congratulate this year’s filmmakers for their amazing shorts,” said Wil Sylvince, founder of the “Short Cuts” Film Festival. “I also want to thank NBC Universal and the entire industry for their commitment and support for diverse creative content. The NBC ‘Short Cuts’ Film Festival has made its mark. It has become the ultimate platform for diverse writers, directors and actors to gain feedback from industry leaders while establishing notoriety for their creative work.”

“Short Cuts” Film Festival is a company-wide initiative and is one of many live events produced by NBC’s Talent Diversity Initiative with the goal of cultivating diversity both in front of and behind the camera. This year’s panel of judges include Jeff Ingold (NBC Comedy Programming), Grace Wu (NBC Casting), Franklin Leonard (Universal Pictures), Quan Phung (Stuber Productions), Karen O’Hara (Syfy) and Karen Horne (NBC Entertainment Programs).

Selected from over 1,500 submissions, this year’s finalists included: Joshua Funk, (writer/director of “Undocumented Worker: The Audition”); Debby Wolfe, (writer/director of “Gordita”); Sterlin Harjo (writer/director of “Three Little Boys”) and Francisco Ordonez, (writer/director of “Cookie”). Semi-finalist films were screened earlier before an industry audience in conjunction with the New York Television Festival on September 22.

Corporate support for this year’s initiative came from sponsors such as The Hollywood Reporter, Burrell Communications, Panavision, the Sheraton Universal Hotel, CIROC and Web Solutions MD.

“It’s a great honor for Burrell Communications to partner with NBC Universal ‘Short Cuts’ Film Festival to create opportunities for the next generation of young filmmakers and storytellers,” said Lewis Williams, Chief Creative Officer of Burrell Communications. “Burrell has always made it a priority to provide an outlet for creative individuals to showcase their talent and skills. These opportunities are crucial to the diversity of ideas, content and talent in the film and advertising industry. We applaud this year’s finalists and winners.”

NBC Universal’s “Short Cuts” Film Festival was founded with actor/writer/comedian Sylvince in 2005 to display and celebrate diversity in the entertainment industry. The objective is to allow creative individuals with diverse perspectives the opportunity to present their material in front of key decision makers within the industry. When Sylvince is not working on the “Short Cuts” Film Festival, he performs on the national comedy circuit, including college campuses, and in festivals worldwide.

For additional information, please visit: WWW.NBCSHORTCUTS.COM

No related posts.

Crystal Wright has transformed herself from an accountant at Xerox who was looking for something more than copiers to agent, author, teacher and motivational speaker. Her foray into fashion and beauty came from a love that was fostered by her family.

“My grandmother was a seamstress,” Wright said. “There were always European fashion magazines all over our house. I love clothes which i went and interviewed with Nordstrom, but it didn’t feel like a fit. I then went to a party one day, met a photographer and quit my job [because] he started talking to me about all of the fabulous things he was doing. It was the most interesting life I knew.”

In making these transitions, she has always tried to pass her experience and knowledge onto others.

“Anything is possible if you put your mind to it,” she said. “I think young people should not be discouraged from doing anything. They’re young; they’re resilient, and if something doesn’t wok the first time, they have plenty of time to do it over and get it right.”

She recently finished a workshop in New York City which focused on packaging a makeup artist, hair stylist or fashion stylists portfolio and carving out a career path for oneself in a frame of five years.

“People have the tendency to flounder around, and one of the things I want to teach them is to figure out where they want to be so that I can create a road map of getting there,” she explained. “That decision determines every single move they make along the way.”

While she discussed how freelancers have to be business-minded and understand how they are to budget their earnings to sustain themselves and set working conditions, she also noted the importance of having both a digital and print portfolio.

“How to choose the right images that once you do start working with photographers. It’s important for [the students] to choose the images that are going to go in their book, not the photographers picking out the images. The first image [in the portfolio] sets the tone for everything they’re going to see, and the last image is going to be the lasting impression. If you don’t have an online portfolio, you’re gonna miss a lot of work. Sometimes an art director is going to ask you for a book so they can take it to a meeting, and then what are you going to do?”

All of this stemmed from her time as an agent to hair stylists and makeup artists and lead to her writing Crystal Wright’s Hair, Makeup & Styling Career Guide  which is used as a textbook in many beauty and fashion schools and is updated every two years. In her time working as an agent and teaching others, she wrote a motivational book called 30 Days at 100%, which focuses on narrowing down the amount of changes people try to make all at once to one thing to change a month.

“We make lists all the time, we make lists, we make post-it notes; at the beginning of the year, we make resolutions,” Wright said. “We write down all of this stuff we need to fix and then try to fix it in one month. If you can just work on one thing every thirty days, how would your life be? When you try to do it all at once and you fail, which is inevitable, then you get frustrated and don’t want to do anything.”

With her experiences and success in her writing and her teaching, she feels no need to go back to managing talent but gave some advice for those looking to get into the field.

“I did it for twenty-four years; I want to play golf,” she said. “Get the best talent you can find and then find a great booker. Get talent that are willing to invest in the tools they need to provide you with so you can do your job because you cannot drag somebody kicking and screaming to success; you don’t have time as an agent.”

For those readers who are upset they missed the workshop, fear not! She plans to return June 18 and 19, 2011. For more information, please visit http://www.crystalwrightlive.com

No related posts.