To Fling… or Not to Fling?

So you were in the gym all winter (and spring) convincing your thighs to come to terms with your jeans. Your 30 year relationship (ok, it was 3 really but it felt like 30) has recently terminated due to irreconcilable differences. Your friends have finally gotten their act together, and that trip to Negril, Jamaica you’ve been dying to take will finally happen this summer. If you so happen to meet that temporarily special someone on your vacation, should you be considered a hoe if you engaged in an all inclusive, whirlwind relationship – complete with an ocean view of his naked backside and sure to span no longer than four days and 3 nights?

To ask a man if having random sex makes you a hoe is like asking a man if having random sex makes you a hoe. It is as equally ridiculous as it is rhetorical. The answer is undeniably “Hell to the no!” Now if you ask a man that same question about a woman, just about every sexist double standard comes into play. At least it used to. The fact of the matter is, men used to hold women to a much higher regard than was ever reasonable. The expectation is for women to only want one man and only want sex provided they are in a relationship. Any sexual ideal inconsistent with this notion was considered deviant and sure to raise questions as to your wholesome upbringing.

Prior to the sexual liberation of Generation X (consisting of Vanessa Williams’s Playboy centerfolds and Lil Kim songs graphically depicting the superhuman functionalities of her nether regions), women were viewed as porcelain dolls to be encased in crystal displays and admired from afar. Women were often expected to subdue their own sexual appetites, and said expectation most often arose from those who viewed women subjectively, as objects, and void of sexual desires equitable to men. In contrast, men were granted passes to engage in sexual endeavors however they saw fit. This practice was at best chauvinistic, and at worst, made for a terrible time for single guys trying to score while retaining free agent status. Post liberation however, the iron chastity curtain has come crumbling down and women have been given pseudo-permission to embrace their own sexuality (sorta-kinda).

There is a greater acceptance for overall promiscuity from both sexes these days. And although there will probably always be a double standard, the gap has certainly narrowed as to what is considered sexually acceptable. Not too long gone are the days where a woman with multiple partners was branded a harlot and paraded around the town square for all the world to shame and cast hypocritical aspersions toward, but those days are gone. Although, you will probably never be able to tell your mom about that spring break, at least the guy with whom you shared the experience with did not think any less of you – and that is’progress. The ensuing 3 year relationship that has just recently ended is further proof that he thought highly of you. So if Dexter Barrington Longting III should happen to give you the eye from across the hotel bar, and your alias (Sasha Fiercington) decides to entertain this bronze chested mahogany Adonis, rest assured you will not be awarded the “Hoe of the Week” Award. And to be sure you don’t come away with any other prizes and unexpected awards, please practice safe sex every time!! Happy Summer!