Jacque Reid: The Leading Lady in Media

At the chic and elegant Ristorante Barolo in New York City, four women sit around a table, chatting about love, sex, and romance. Passersby may be reminded of the coffee shop scenes from the HBO series “Sex and the City”, and they would not be so far off the mark to think so. These four women are sexy, single, and wildly successful in their respective fields. After all, they are the cast members of VH1’s popular reality TV show “Let’s Talk About Pep”, and a far cry from the drunken, wild, and untamed women of VH1’s past hit shows like “Flavor of Love” and “New York Goes to Hollywood.”

One woman, in particular, exudes a confidence and style that female (and male) viewers around the country can’t help but fall in love with. Her name is Jacque Reid, and even before she became a full-fledged reality TV star, she was a successful reporter and radio personality, having worked as the sole news anchor for BET from 2001 to 2005 and as a special news correspondent for Larry King Live in 2004. She currently acts as co-host on the D.L. Hughley Morning Show and makes regular appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show, a program that boasts no less than 8 million listeners.

On “Let’s Talk About Pep”, Jacque is frequently the voice of reason. She embodies a no-nonsense attitude with the kind of tenderness women around the world look for in a best friend or sister. In many ways, she is quite similar to Miranda Hobbes, the redheaded lawyer on “Sex and the City” who is devoted heart and soul to pushing the limits of her career. In other ways, Jacque is more like Charlotte York, the sweet, family-oriented, and optimistic beauty who wants so badly to have a child of her own and raise a family.

Jacque is, in the end, a combination of both these characters and much more. She speaks her mind and is never willing to compromise her beliefs for any reason. Her faith in God endows her with even more strength, and as far as role models go, the sheer amount of confidence she has in herself is arguably the most attractive quality about her celebrity-status presence.

Guts. Glam. Grace. Magazine was lucky enough to chat with Jacque about her experience filming “Let’s Talk About Pep” and her thoughts on what the future holds as well as what women across the nation can do to improve their position in the workplace.

Where does “Let’s Talk About Pep” fit in with your career thus far?

I wanted to move away from straight news for some time, and I’ve done that in doing radio as a personality instead of just a straight newsperson. I’ve done it for several years now by doing things that are outside of the box instead of sitting in a desk or standing outside. I’ve always wanted to do something different. It just gives me a chance to do that and be myself.

How did you become a cast member on the show?

Well, we all know each other. Joumana and I go to the same church. Pep goes to my church as well. Pep and Joumana and I all go to Bible Study together. Pep and the other girls have their own relationship. I knew Kitty from BET days, from when I worked at BET.

Do you have to approach the show with a professional attitude or can you just be yourself?

It’s very casual. You just kind of forget the cameras are there for the most part. I mean, except of course for those who swear. You do have to keep in mind that the cameras are there, but you want to have a very casual and natural conversation, which is easy to do since we all know each other, since we’re all friends. It’s easy to just kind of sit back. A lot of the times nobody would even tell us the cameras were rolling, and we would just be sitting around talking, and they used a lot of that on the actual show.

In what ways is “Sex and the City” different or similar from “Let’s Talk About Pep”?

I think it’s similar in that there are four main people. We live in New York City, and we’re all single. It focuses on our personal lives. I think that’s where the similarities end. I think the differences are that we are women of color, that we each have different personalities. I mean, I know people try to tie this person to this character, or each of us to characters on “Sex and the City.” It’s like people want to connect me to Miranda, and I get it because I work the hardest and I have short hair, but I, like Charlotte, really want to have a baby. I’m the only one who wants to have a baby. And I’m, like Charlotte, very traditional. I want to get married. I think each of us are very different from the women of “Sex and the City”, but it’s a very flattering comparison since that show is such a success and so tastefully done.

What do you want women to take away from watching the show?

More than anything that you don’t have to settle when it comes to finding the man that you want to be with, or men that you want to spend time with. I think you have to set your own ground rules for yourself because it’s not just about the man, it’s about you being happy. Overwhelmingly, people loved the show. But there were some people who said that we seem to be desperate on the show. And that really confused me that we seemed desperate because we refused to settle for whatever’s out there because we have standards and choices.

Desperation is when you’re so desperate for a man that you’ll take anything, and that’s not what we choose to do, especially me. So it’s just funny that people would label us as desperate. I think I want women to see that you can’t put any woman in a box. Just because we’re not twenty doesn’t mean we should be sitting at home knitting. Just because we’re not twenty and single doesn’t mean we don’t have lives, and it doesn’t mean we don’t have interests.

I hope that young women who are in their twenties can see that and appreciate that and admire that quite frankly because I think it says something when you say, “You know what, I’m not going to just lay down and just fall into what society wants me to fall into.” And I don’t even think society expects it anymore. You see women like Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, the list goes on and on, who are out there thriving, and these are some of the best-looking women in Hollywood right now.

Why do we have to sit down? It’s ridiculous. Like we lived, let’s just sit down. I want women to realize, women more than anything, to realize that they define their lives. You determine what you want to do with your life and who you want to do it with.

I want women to be free from feeling desperate. Just because you don’t marry by the time you’re a certain age doesn’t mean your life is over, that your life is meaningless.

In one episode of “Let’s Talk About Pep”, Joumana shares a list of the qualities she wants to see in an ideal partner. What does your list look like?

I want someone that’s honest, someone who’s a Christian, someone who wants a family, someone who wants to be married, someone who’s not a misogynist, someone who loves and appreciates and respects women, someone who’s not intimidated by a woman who has an opinion and a life of her own, a career. A man who can be a man, who can be strong and make decisions and be the head of a household. And someone who’s kind and loving and romantic and sexy.

In another episode of “Let’s Talk About Pep”, you confront your date Joel about calling a former girlfriend a “freak” on his Facebook page. What do you want viewers, especially women, to take away from that scene?

Well, a lot of people felt like I was giving him a hard time, but my thing is why do we dismiss it when men disrespect women? I don’t think it’s just something that should be dismissed. Maybe he didn’t mean any harm by it. I didn’t take it that way, but I definitely gave him an opportunity to explain it. I think men, so many men can be immature. I’m not saying that Joel is immature. But in their behavior sometimes men can be immature. And I think as women we need to challenge them to do better, question them, and encourage them to do better.

I mean, if you watch that episode, I don’t get up and leave. I don’t storm out. I asked a question. And people want to say, “Boys will be boys. Don’t snoop or you’ll find something.” I want to find it, I want to know what’s out there so I know what I’m dealing with. Why do people want to date in the dark? I’ve done that, and it’s the stupidest thing a person can do to not get to know someone that you’re spending your personal time with and possibly sleeping with. I don’t get it. I think it’s absolutely stupid.

Do you approach love with the skill sets you have acquired from being a journalist?

I think it’s only natural, if you’ve worked in a career a long time. To me, journalism is something I always will do, even if I’m not reporting every day. It’s still a part of who I am. I think it’s natural for a lot of people, not just journalists, when they’re getting to know someone, or somebody’s like, “I’m going to set you up with somebody,” if you have a Facebook page, I’m going to go look and see what he looks like, what’s going on in the page, because I’m naturally curious. I’m going to Google him if it’s someone who is listed on Google and has information. I do it all the time. I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Again, I think it’s kind of stupid in this day and age to just date in the dark and not know who you’re going out with. Someone was telling me a story just yesterday about a guy that she was dating and didn’t know him that well but happened to go on his Facebook page and found out that he was heavily involved in this hate anti-gay movement. And I wouldn’t say just rest on what you see, but I would want to ask questions about that. I would want to know if a guy that someone’s trying to set me up with has a lot of suggestive pictures on his Facebook page with women who are half-dressed, pictures that basically objectify women, pictures that would end up on the cover of a magazine or something like that. That’s not somebody I would want to date, if their Facebook page is filled with that kind of stuff. I would ask him about it, but that’s not my cup of tea. People want to just date and just find out as you go along. That’s cool, but I just don’t think it’s smart.

I don’t know what people do on their Facebook pages, but I’m pretty honest on mine. It has pictures of me and my friends, me and my family. I express things that are going on in my day or just what I’m thinking. It’s an extension of who I am. It’s not all of who I am, but it’s an extension. So I look to other people’s Facebook pages as the same. It’s kind of a way of getting to know a little bit about a person. It’s an extension of their personality. Why people wouldn’t want to explore that, I don’t know. Joel and I are still cool. We’re still in touch. So it wasn’t like he ran out the door or I ran out the door because I questioned him about that.

On episode 6 of “Let’s Talk About Pep”, you told Pep and the rest of the girls that you have never experienced an orgasm. What was sharing that kind of detail like on TV? What compelled you to reveal this intimate part of yourself?

Well, it’s a reality show. That’s my story. I didn’t mind sharing it because it’s not something I’m embarrassed by. I guess for me being the kind of person that I am, I would hope that it would (and it did) give women out there who are experiencing the same thing a platform to say, “You know what, I’m not a weirdo. The same thing’s happened to me.” And that’s what happened. A lot of women emailed me, hit me up on Facebook, and said, “I’m this age. I’m that age. And I’ve never had an orgasm either.”

It’s so common, but women are embarrassed by it. People don’t like to talk about it. It’s never embarrassed me. I just never really thought a need to write an article about it. I never thought it was a big deal. And when the producers were interviewing me and they found that out, they were like, “Wow! Are you willing to talk about that?” I was like, “Sure.” It didn’t faze me honestly. People made such a big deal out of it. It’s never been a big deal to me. I don’t feel any different from any other women.

As a journalist, that’s what we do. We interview. We put information out there. Me sharing my story was a way of doing that.

You mentioned before that you would like to have a baby. Do you feel an obligation to be married before you have a child?

The perfect case for me would be to have a husband. But that doesn’t have to be the case for me.

We have talked about the lessons you want your audience to take away from watching “Let’s Talk About Pep.” What lessons have you learned from filming the show?

Personally, I feel like I’ve learned that especially with the orgasm class, I probably need to be just a little more open with my sexuality and with my education of things like that. I learned a lot in that class. It was a much longer class than what they showed. I only went to one, but it was very educational too. They had a woman in there who wrote a book about not having an orgasm. She went on this journey to a lot of different classes, things like that, until she finally had one. And it was interesting to hear her story and talk to her.

I was going to go because as a journalist, I report for the Tom Joyner Morning Show and I do a lot of really interesting topics that focus on women and women’s issues. That’s how I found the class. I was going to interview the guy who created this whole workshop, and in doing that, I was like, “You know what? I should go.” The producers found out that I was going to go, and they were like, “Can we go with you to the classroom?” And I said sure.

What other projects are you involved with at this time?

I have my website, and everything I do flows through that. I co-host the D.L. Hughley Morning Show, which is a morning radio show here in New York City that is soon to be syndicated. And I’m a correspondent for the Tom Joyner Morning Show, which is a nationally syndicated radio show. It has about 8 million listeners.

Having branched out into so many fields already in your career, what is one thing you would still like to achieve in the future?

I’d love to move more in entertainment as far as producing. I’d love to produce television projects. I’d love to produce some documentaries. I’d love to do more things like that.

In addition to being a reporter and radio host, you are pretty active on the public speaking circuit. What are those experiences like?

I don’t get to do that, unfortunately, as much as I used to with all the work that I do and all the jobs and stuff. Just this weekend, I had to cancel something because I’m exhausted and losing my voice. So not as much, and that’s why I’m a member of Delta Sigma Theta so I can do things that are free-planned and free-organized with my sorority sisters.

I do public speaking. Gosh, I haven’t really done anything in about a year. I try to do it when I can. I don’t get to do it as much as I used to, but I do enjoy that.

For all the young aspiring journalists out there, what advice would you give them on how to achieve the success you have already attained?

Take your education seriously. Don’t play around. Don’t waste time. Learn to respect yourself early. Get to know, love, and respect yourself as soon as possible. Understand what that means because no matter what you do, that’s going to make the difference on you finding success and what you do when success comes your way. You can stumble into success because of talent, but if your character is not strong, then you won’t stay there.

On your website, you write “More than just news…It’s about real life!” How do you incorporate that quote into your everyday lifestyle?

Just like in the reality show, I just try to be really honest. I didn’t become a part of the television show to be a reality star, and I met with some producers yesterday and they were asking if maybe we could take things in this direction, in that direction, and that’s not something that I’m interested in. This is not something that I have to do, and it’s because I know myself and I love myself and I respect myself and I know that God will provide no matter what I do. And it’s a lesson that I really learned late in life, but now I have such peace with the choices that I make.

I think it’s not just about news, it’s about real life. I think you have to apply that to everything that you do. How am I going to carry myself in this situation? How are other people affected by what I do? How can I leave the best impression on people? How can I help somebody through what I’m doing? How can I make a difference through the example that I set, through the stories that I do, through the comments that I make, through the image that I set forth? It’s about thinking about your impact in the world. To me, that’s what that means.

One of the most attractive qualities about you is your sense of confidence. Have you always had this assurance in yourself? Or was it something you attained over the years?

I was always confident. I always loved myself, and I always thought highly of myself. I always trusted my instincts, not that I’ve never made mistakes. God knows I’ve made my share of them. But I recover well from mistakes. I learn from mistakes, and I don’t beat myself up about things. I think even as a little girl, I’ve always maintained a high level of confidence.

On your way up to becoming the leading lady in media, what obstacles did you run into?

Sexism. Sexual harassment. People can be very subtle with it, but it’s just like if you don’t say anything about it, then people get away with creating an environment that can make you uncomfortable. Being passed over for men. Things like that. Being a woman, being an African American woman, being stereotyped. Dealing with racism. Same old stuff that black women go through in every profession.

Women today are still forced to deal with these issues in the workplace, at school, even at home. What advice do you have for women who are harassed or abused because of their sex?

Educate yourself. Don’t assume that it’s not going to happen to you. Know how to identify the problem, and know how to deal with the problem. And even if it becomes something that requires legal involvement, know what your options are. Cover your bases before it happens to you. I would say educate yourself early on.

You’ll find yourself in a situation, and you won’t know what to do. You won’t even know how to say, “Wait a minute. This is making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, you need to stop.” Who to report it to, how to deal with it, how to nip it in the bud. We, as women, should not have to work in uncomfortable environments, but we do every day.

Many career guides out there say that women do not try to negotiate better deals for themselves. The art of negotiation seems to come easily to men, but women are hesitant to ask for what they want, especially in the workplace. Do you think this is true?

I think it is true. I think it’s very true. It’s unfortunate, but just because of the way society is, we feel like, “Oh well, they’re not going to understand if I’m pregnant and I ask for maternity leave.” We feel like we’re just lucky to work. We’re just lucky to have the opportunity, and it’s not that. We deserve our rights to be protected. We deserve to have a quality of life and have a job as well.

Do you believe that in a male-dominated workplace, femininity has to be compromised?

I don’t think you have to compromise it, as long as it’s just femininity. You know what I mean? You don’t want to be viewed as oversexed or promiscuous. You don’t want to dress provocatively. You don’t want to be flirtatious at work. You want to be respected. You don’t have to not be feminine, but you need to make sure that in order to be respected as a woman, you need to respect yourself.

What global issues would you like to incorporate into your journalism?

I guess I would love to see more of an effort put into helping underdeveloped countries. When I see things that are going on in Haiti right now, I mean it’s just heartbreaking. And for me, it’s just very difficult to even watch. It’s hard to jump in globally when there’s so much need right here in our own backyard, but I think that even though there are problems here, they just don’t compare to the poverty and suffering that goes on around the world. And I do think it’s up to us not to wait for our government to do it, but to try to figure out a way to do something about it ourselves. I don’t know what those answers are.

Again, it comes down to educating yourself, being worldly, knowing what’s going on in the world. Picking up a newspaper, and reading not just the local section but the international section too and learning about what other people are facing. It definitely gives you a better perspective on not only appreciating what you have but how to deal with the challenges in your life.